Alright Ben, You're Not God

Okay, so the Universe has to be trying to tell my Big Ben something, with the near-death motorcycle accident and now this silly little Appendicitis bit. Sure, it'd be easy to think you're Invincible and a Living God when as a rookie you led your team to the AFC Championship with a 14-0 regular season record, and then your sophomore year, um, you win the freaking Super Bowl. But apparently Ben is Not God, a sad and disconcerting truth that Steelers fans everywhere are learning... the hard way.

In the words of teammate Brett Keisel, He's Cursed.

So, Ben, will you humble yourself already or whatever so you can stop getting hurt and our team can win some football??

Luckily it wasn't a very invasive surgery and it's rumored that they are targeting the third game of the season for Ben's return, conveniently our first divisional game against Cincinnati. Unfortunately our first two games are against the Miami Dolphins (who many are slating to make it to the Super Bowl this year) and the Jacksonville Jaguars (whom the Steelers always struggle against). Damn Damn Damn Damn. I was looking forward to Thursday like you wouldn't believe (giddily counting down the days to the start of the season, getting my Steelers flag out and hoisting it onto it's pole in front of my house, ironing my Terrible Towel - okay, so I didn't do that, but just because I don't iron in general). Now I'm slightly dreading Thursday, nobody wants to lose the first game of the season at home. Batch is decent enough, he won't lose the game for you but he won't win the game for you either. So Willie has to have a big game and our D has to step it up and win the game for us. Ike, you just got a lovely contract extension in which you make more than Polamalu (which makes no sense at all to me, hopefully they correct that when they extend his contract next year), so why don't you start catching some of those dropped interceptions for a change and step it up this Thursday? That'd be nice, thank you. I guess we won't get our "shoot out" that everyone was buzzing about for Thursday's game.

Well, get well soon Ben. I really am not blaming you for your illnesses (though a helmet would have been good for the motorcycle accident), this is just getting eerie, like karma or something so you gotta start wondering, why? Why Me?? I mean, uh, why Ben... yeah.

Thank you Brett for thinking of me when you heard of this! That means I've been successful in my Steelers ranting to make my mark. :) Some more articles on Ben's appendicitis if you're interested at Post-Gazette and Deadspin (the funny spin on it, yes, even in these dark hours we can find humor). My favorite line from the Deadspin article is: "During the surgery, doctors also took the precautionary step of affixing a little tiny helmet on Roethlisberger's appendix." Too funny. And then, just for funsies: Why People Love The Steelers, in case you were wondering. Boy, do I love Deadspin!


Brett Battles said...

I would say your Steeler feelings have not gone...unnoticed.

Bill Cameron said...

I was born in Cincinnati, and while I haven't lived there in one million years and mostly don't care about professional sports much at all, I have to confess to vestigial Steeler hate. I'm sorry, I can't help it. It was probably something in the Cincinnati water.

Will you forgive me?

mai wen said...

LOL, I think it must be something in the water. It's okay, after a team whoops up on your team for so long, I guess you'd have to hate them! ;-)~

I can't complain too much about Bengals' fans otherwise I wouldn't have Any friends here in Cincinnati! It was a Bengals' fan and friend who got me tickets to the final game of the season, Pittsburgh at Cinci!!

I guess they're not ALL bad! :) I'll count you in that good Bengals' fans group, you get extra points because you're out of the 'nati!

Bill Cameron said...

Well, I'm not sure I'd call myself a Bengals fan. The last time I saw the Bengals on TV was maybe 10 years ago. Or more. I'm not even sure. I did go to the AFC Championship game back in, what, 1987? Against Buffalo. But even that was a lark.

So, yeah. There ya have it!


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