Workin' Hardly

I know I've been awfully quiet as of recent. Part of it was that I was in Cancun, which was a nice break from reality. But now I've just been busy as hell preparing for the big move out of my house and for my Europe trip, both of which are taking place in March and April! I officially put in my two weeks at work on Monday (YAY, Wahoooooo, Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!) but of course it's my busiest time for work, right before we release a deliverable to the client and since I'm Quality Assurance, this is my busy time. Of course I don't feel like doing anything anymore for my job, so I'm trying to balance that, get enough done so I don't fall behind but really not push myself to excel either. After all, next Friday I'll be DONE FOR GOOD with this stinkin' job. Can you tell I'm a little bit giddy about that?

So I've been quite swamped as of recent and will be for a while until we're settled in North Carolina, our new location. This is the first big decision I've made with my life and I'm scared to death, but that's why I have to do it! If something scares me then I aim to conquer it. I don't know if it's always the best philosophy since it stresses the hell out of me, but hopefully it works out for me in the end.

I'm excited to pursue what I'm really passionate about (Social Work) and I'm hoping that doing something I care about and enjoy will leave me energized for the rest of my life, unlike now where when I'm not at work I carry that unstimulated drained dull feeling I get from my job with me into the rest of my life. It's amazing to me that I can be so exhausted at the end of the day from work when I barely doing anything, but I think I'm just so exhausted from the lack of any stimulation whatsoever. It gives me an incredibly lazy feeling and makes it difficult for me to feel motivated to do the things I enjoy such as work out, write, read, etc. All I want to do is vege on the couch because I feel partly brain dead from the day, probably due to lack of use.

Even though at this point I'm totally in slack mode for my job a part of me really doesn't feel bad (usually I'm quite the perfectionist and people pleaser) because not only did I specifically tell my boss a month before I was moved from Project Coordination (which I was actually enjoying) into Quality Assurance that the only area of project work that I wasn't interested in and didn't enjoy was, of course, QA. Well a month later our QA guy quit and my boss stuck me in the position because he didn't want to hire anybody new. On top of that, a couple of weeks ago my boss sent me a copy of this personality test I took before being hired (he was supposed to give it to me right away but forgot until now) and it said things such as should not work in a monotonous routine job, thrives off of interacting with others, needs to be challenged, is motivated by new projects, etc. Basically describing everything BUT a QA position which is monotonous, you can go days without having to interact with people and is the same every freaking Spiral (stage of the project). Yeah, and you wonder why I've wanted to shoot myself just about every day at work and am in tears every Sunday night about having to go into work the next day. I think my boss is okay on many levels, but the fact that he put me in a job that was completely unsuited for me and he more than should have known that makes me not give a crap about finishing off strong, I worked my arse off trying to do good at a job I despised with every bone in my body which I never should have been put in, so screw it, I'm going to relax and enjoy my last two weeks here! Do some research for Europe and on Nintendo DS games (hubby just surprised me with a Nintendo DS for Europe, in pink! Isn't he the sweetest ever?) and get all the necessary closing/selling your house stuff done.

Done ranting, sorry.

I hate my job and in less than two weeks I will never have to do it again. Right now, there's nothing sweeter in the world.