The Vagina Monologues.

So I randomly bought the October issue of SELF magazine right before I went to Denver. I say randomly because I don't buy magazines ever and I've never read SELF. But this SELF issue had a huge piece on Breast Cancer, which I was really interested in, and had an article on Sarah Michelle Gellar, who played Buffy so of course I was all about that.

Now I don't read magazines much and so I'm just getting to the end of this issue when I find an article on women having cosmetic surgery on their genitals!! From injecting the mythical (and unproven) G-Spot with liquid similar to the lip injections (collagen) to make it more "plump" and sensitive (for about $1,850) to cosmetic labia reshaping, vaginal tightening, liposuction of the mons pubis and reduction of the skin around the clitoris, apparently this is all the rage now.

Here's a testimony from the article on the G-Spot injection:

"It's like having a mini-heartbeat in my crotch," she explains, a sensation that arouses her even during yoga and Spinning classes, or when she drives along bumpy roads. During sex, Staltare says, she has volcanic, multiple orgasms "like huge waves that keep lifting me higher and higher."

When confronted about the fact that it has not been scientifically proven that the "G-Spot" has any sexual powers, Dr. Matlock (from the E! channel show Dr. 90210 who routinely performs these sorts of procedures) asks "Does God exist?" You can hear the sound, scientific reasoning behind that response...

I can understand why a women would do the G-Spot injection if she was struggling to have an orgasm, I've known girls who have gotten their clitoris pierced for the same reason, but the price tag for the inject (which usually wears off in about four months) is a little steep to me, especially since you know insurance would never cover it.

But it's the vagina reshaping surgery that really baffles me. One young college student who had labia reshaping surgery states:

"I've never wanted my boobs done or any kind of plastic surgery, but my labia made me very uncomfortable."

The self-consciousness started, she says, when she noticed that her labia minora was longer than those of other girls. And then, of course, a boyfriend of hers made her aware of the labia reshaping surgery when she confided her labia insecurities to him. First of all, how the heck did she notice other girls' labia? I played a sport in high school (well, ran cross country), gone to the gym, changed in front of numerous girlfriends, even showered with a girlfriend once in a time pinch (and in a rather large shower, so don't get any ideas!), and I have not Once seen another girl's vagina or noticed her labia. The surgery for this girl deformed her labia more since they just sliced it and she was left with a whole lot of bleeding and with the labia unevenly cut at an angle. She ended up having to pay for more surgery to reconstruct her labia totaling her costs to nearly $14,000 out of pocket.

I'm completely aghast at this obsession for the "perfect vagina." I'm already quite disdained at the country's obsession with perfection and beauty, but this is literally taking it too far. Who decides what a "sexy" vagina looks like? The article states that doctors have treated patients for labia reshaping from the ages of 14 to 60! I personally think it should be consider neglect for parents to let their child get this surgery. A doctor states that he is helping these people because they're so self conscious that they won't wear a bathing suit at the beach. While I'm completely confused as to how a large labia would be obvious enough in a bathing suit to cause embarrassment, I'm extremely annoyed that young girls can just walk in and get this surgery with little difficulty. Even for Gastric Bypass there is an extensive psychological work done beforehand to make sure that it is a medical necessity and not just for looks or because someone doesn't feel like working the weight off. Now I know GB is a lot more intrusive than labia surgery, but labia surgery can definitely go wrong and can actually be so painful that sex is not possible or even desensitize the area so the woman has little to no sexual feeling left afterwards. Overall, there has been very little proof that these surgeries lead to long-term happiness in women or that there aren't any complications down the road, and mostly this proof has not been gathered because the doctors who are providing these procedures are unwilling to share their client list in order to conduct research on their effectiveness. Their reluctance is proof enough to me that this surgery is completely unnecessary and useless and the doctors know it.

I mean what else can women be made to be insecure about? I wouldn't say that I'm always happy with my body and I'm definitely not perfect. Hell, my boobs are completely different cup sizes! But has that ever bothered me or my husband? Other than bra shopping, not at all. And hey, if my husband had to pick my breasts out of a boob line-up, he'd know mine right away. Plus, I think he likes the variety. So why not take your "imperfections" and view them as unique special things about yourself instead of things that need to be fixed? Because frankly, once these women get their vagina surgery done I guarantee you they will find something else they hate about themselves in no time...